The story of my pause workbook
We are magical beings — regardless of our limitations and it’s high time we had support for this truth.
As I sit here writing this, there is a blanket of snow outside my window. Our little steep street is now covered in ice and snow — I’ve only seen two vehicles all morning, many of my neighbors have had to park at the base of the hill and walk back and forth. We will not b visited by a snowplow — we never are. The street is too small in a small town with very limited resources to begin with.
To me, these days are pure magic — the silence on the road has been traded for the sound of children sledding where cars usually roam.
It brings me joy to watch them as they work cooperatively to build a ramp. And then, the littlest of the bunch just asked, “Can I ride with you?” Finally, they could fly over that ramp within the safe harbor of an older child.
Within the next day or so, the temperatures will rise back into the 30’s and maybe even the low 40’s. The snow will melt. The street will clear, the cars will return. But, for now, I’ll enjoy this magical in-between space.
The end-of-the-year and into January is a liminal space. The holidays are over, the ground lays frigid and sleeping. We wait for things to begin yet again.
Each year during these in-between days, I spend time reflecting on what has been and daydreaming of what is yet to become. This year is both no different and entirely different altogether. This year I have the Pause workbook to, well, work through.
For many years I would use other creators’ workbook and journal prompts during this liminal time and, while they were good, they were always missing so much of my lived experiences as a person living with limitations.
You see, living with chronic illness, disability, and a neurodivergent brain creates limitations that are real. The effects tangible in my day-to-day life.
No, I cannot do anything I dream up, and language which suggests otherwise creates, at best, a dissonance to manage and, at worst, pain and shame over not being able to do it all.
But I am no longer willing to settle for dissonance. And I am most certainly done entertaining shame over the way life is for me.
I am done with those forms of self-harm.
So this year, I created an end-of-year / new-year workbook that not only doesn’t push the ableist lie that we can do anything if we only work hard enough, this workbook actually acknowledges, accepts, and, in its own peaceful way, celebrates living life with limitations.