Running my business is better when I love myself
“I’ve learned that you can’t have everything and do everything...” – Oprah Winfrey
Unpopular Opinion #1: I cannot do it all.
Unpopular Opinion #2: Neither can you.
I cannot be on every social media platform AND write blog posts AND make YouTube videos AND send regular emails to my subscribers AND keep with my website AND do my 'day job' AND provide kick-ass editing services to my clients AND continue creating awesome printables and planner and journals, eBooks and guidebooks AND continue to learn, heal, share and grow.
I simply do not have enough hours or energy in my day.
Neither do you.
And that is ok.
For years I tried to do it all, really I did. Here's how that would look: try to do it all, get burnt out, give up, rest up, rinse and repeat again and again.
Notice a theme?
Yeah, that part of repeating the burnout sucked big time. Continuously revisiting that feeling like I was never going to be able to live up to what we've been told I was 'supposed' to be doing really did a number on me for a number of years.
Can you relate?
For years I struggled - always failing.
Because I was trying to be perfect by trying to freaking do-it-all. I know it's something others struggle with too - this awful culture mindset that says we've got to be and do everything if we want to succeed, especially if success means having a business that supports your life while solving your customer's problems.
That sticky mess would paralyze me every.single.time.
There I was, trying to squeeze more time and more energy out of each day than is actually possible until one amazing day when I realized that 'doing it all' stems from the same toxic mindset as perfectionism, and then? BOOM! My heart just opened up to that Truth.
I mean, really, what was I even thinking trying to do it all in the first place?!? I only know of one person who has ever been able to do it all: Hermione Granger with that time-turner thing, but really? Even she got burnt out. Hermione-freaking-Granger had to let go of doing it all, why the hell did I think I could do what even a fictional perfectionist couldn't do?!?
Our culture, with its focus on and pressure to be perfect, or to at least get as close to perfect as humanly possible, is a monstrous creature. From the cradle, it tells us that we have to do enough, earn enough, look 'hot' enough, be smart enough, win enough accolades, and then maybe, just maybe, one day we'll actually be good enough to deserve love.
That, my friends, is nothing but a categorical lie meant to trap us from relaxing and accepting and loving ourselves exactly as we are.
It is utter bullshit.
We have always been enough - perfectionism is the lie culture uses to try and control us, to try and get us to spend our money and our time on things that distract us from the beautiful Truth that we have always been enough, and we always will be.
Below is an excerpt from Psychology Today:
"The Dangers of Being Perfectionistic
Perfection, of course, is an abstraction, an impossibility in reality. When taken too far, the striving for perfection can lead to negative outcomes, like procrastination, a tendency to avoid challenges, rigid all-or-nothing thinking, toxic comparisons, and a lack of creativity. Maladaptive perfectionism is often driven by fear of failure, feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, and adverse childhood experiences. It is frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders, and even suicidal impulses."
No wonder trying to do it all was doing nothing much more than causing me to experience repeated episodes of burn out!
So, as I do in times of awakening or confusion or both (they are often both) - I turned inwards to explore. Through journaling and meditative moments, I began my exploration by noticing in which social media spaces I felt most comfortable and why. I began witnessing which tasks light me up or fulfill a creative need. I paid attention to which of my offerings I'm most proud of and excited to share with others.
In other words, I began to intentionally notice where the moments of engagement, peace, excitement, and flow in my business are and then I consciously choose to spend my time and energy on those areas. Oh, and I gave myself permission to let the others go.
For me, this currently includes Facebook and my editing work - especially the editing of personal/memoir type blog posts and things like good old sweet romance stories. I am focusing on creating printables, planners, and guidebooks that support women in loving their lives and themselves better.
These are my groove.
Instagram has the potential to be part of my groove - I'm still finding my way over there.
Twitter? After reviewing my tweets I admitted to myself it is much more a 'me' space than a Grace & Magic space. Heck, maybe I'll head over there soon to change my username to reflect that.
YouTube? BIG nope
I have chosen to accept the Truth that I cannot do or be it all --- and the bigger Truth that I'm already enough, doing what I can do.
And you know what?
Last month was my business had its highest-earning month EVER! WOOT!
And you wanna know what else?
This can happen for you too.
Let yourself go inward, to your journal, and to prayer and meditation, ask yourself questions like:
"Where do I lose track of time?"
"What am I most proud of?"
"What do I want to shout from the rooftops?"
Go on, ask yourself these questions and more, then get quiet and listen for your Truth to come up.
The answers, those spaces of flow and joy? Those are the spaces in your business where you can get your groove back because, really, what's the point in building a business if you're just gonna burn yourself to the ground doing it?
Again, BIG nope.
I vote we go with gentle and sustainable.
Life, and business, really are better when we love ourselves.
Katherine Grace is a freelance editor and writer who specializes in helping women business owners take better care of themselves by taking items off their To-Do’s lists. A Self-Love advocating passionate triple Scorpio writing for and about how life is better when you love yourself. She is the creator of the Self-Care for Autumn guide.
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