Why I'm giving up getting things done for the next 40 days.
comes from a voice
from deep within my soul
rest and restore,
let go of productivity"
I've heard this voice for weeks now. It's only grown more insistent with time, and with Lent's approach. This morning I read something asking what is one thing that would help deepen my spirituality to let go of for these 40 days of Lent?
The image of my planner and all of my self-imposed deadlines opened before my eyes...
...But no, I can't let go of that!!!" Screamed my ego.
"Why not? I'm not speaking in tongues" came the reply.
...Because I'm getting more done at home than ever before AND I'm building my audience AND writing a romance novella AND creating graphic gifts for my email subscribers each month AND and blogging, blogging, away (much of it currently over on Medium.com).
Committed to rest and restore, to let the deadlines lie peacefully in their graves feels to me nearly sacrilegious in our culture of chasing our dreams.
But if I slow down and ask myself what my spirit believes it becomes easier because my spirit believes in timeless love... My spirit is wise and knows that caring for self must be included in order to reach my goals in a healthy, grounded, sustainable state.
....I stopped resisted and sat with the idea for a few hours...
In the meantime I read:
"I come to church hoping to encounter God’s unconditional love for me just as I am, but often find myself tangled in a web of law, especially during the season of Lent when we glorify acts of self-denial as the holiness that will bring you closer to Jesus. While I believe that just about anything can work as a genuine and faithful practice for someone, I firmly believe that because of our cultural climate, much of our Lenten language does more harm than good." Lindsey Beukelman in Decolonize the Body of Christ
This feels personal.
As in the reason I'm resisting spirits' call to let go of reaching goals for Lent is because of our cultural climate that teaches us that we must always be reaching for more, striving for more....
...Never give up...
But why can't we settle? What is wrong with giving up? Sometimes the right thing to do is give up on an old dream in order to gentle, compassionately reach for a new dream.
Yes, I am committed now to my craft - to writing and creating and serving.
But, YES, I am still committed to myself, to self-love and self-care and creating a sustainable life that enriches not only readers and clients, but myself as well.
Yeah, for Lent this year I am listening to that still small voice from deep within. I have zero idea how these next 40 days will play out while listening, and obeying, this whisper from within. That's ok.
That's where trust and faith and brave adventuring come into play.