Gratitude Isn't About Getting

Guest post by Heather Tobin

“Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.” – Henry Ward Beecher

If we want to evolve or maintain our personal development and wellness practicing our craft is essential. You know, life mastery.

Over the last few months I have had many people share that they've stopped doing their basic practices because they figured they were ‘fine’ now. Things like continuing a gratitude practice, or journaling, or reading personal development in the mornings. Or meditation, or menu planning, or yoga.

Maybe I wasn't shouting loudly enough from the soap box.

If you think you're ‘fine now’ or ‘done’, you're doing it wrong. The only time ‘fine’ and ‘done’ come into play would be when you've got a specific issue that you get specific support for and then the specific issue is cured. Let me break this down caveperson style: Cut finger. Bleeding. Stop bleeding. Apply ointment. Put on bandage.

Repeat daily depending on size of cut. Healing expected in 1-3 days for minor wounds. Once it's healed, there's no need to continue the outlined treatment. Healing work and personal development is an ongoing adventure should you choose to accept it. We aren't talking about a minor finger cut.

We are talking, life. There is no one foot in and one foot out.

The person who is in a weight lifting competition doesn't go to the gym once, lift a bunch of weights and then stop.

You don't eat one meal on Monday and expect it to sustain you all week. Why would your personal or spiritual development and wellness be any different?

A client recently said to me, “Wow you write half a page of gratitude every day?” I said yes, and when I'm feeling extra funky I write a whole page.

They went on to ask what I write, because they write the same things [when they actually do it] and they didn't think that was ‘right’.

I could tell that energetically that they are bored with the practice, and that they weren't actually doing the Gratitude practice for their overall betterment.

They were doing it from a place of obligation and expectation that ‘If I do this, then I will ’get' this'.


We take so many things for granted. When we don't appreciate the small things, yes even the same things every day, how could we really build our practice of living well?

Let's spin this another way. If someone took the basics away from you like, your ability to read this on your phone, your fresh running water, the fact that the lights go on when you flip the switch, or that you have a comfortable pillow to sleep on…

You'd probably be a little unhappy about it wouldn't you? Just like you probably get upset with your partner when they don't express appreciation for what you get up and do every day. When was the last time you thanked your partner for going to work? Or thanked your partner for making your lunch?

When was the last time you thanked your kid for listening?

Or thanked your friend for letting you emotionally dump all over them last week?

Gratitude isn't about getting. It's about appreciating what you have. It's about being in the energy of appreciation for what is in your life.

Just like a relationship with another person, effort and energy is required in order for the people involved to feel nurtured.

Gratitude is a relationship with yourself, and your experience in the world. It's a way to nurture yourself.

Your personal development and self nurturing practices will determine your experience in this world. Once you decide what you want your experience to be, you'll understand that it takes regular self-commitment. Gratitude is something I embody, daily. I highly recommend it.

If you're doing nothing, it might be time to check yourself, because you may have some embedded subconscious belief that you should just be entitled to live a good life and have things handed to you without putting any effort in.

If that stings, you might be in the wrong place if you're hanging out here with me. ;)

If you go write your gratitude practice now, or you send someone a personal note of thanks, let me know. I'd love to hear. Wishing you a week of blessings and a cascade of magic. Thank you for being here.

Heather is an Intuitive Healer, Life Coach & Mindset Mentor. She is also the author of A Tiny Book About Gratitude, Feathers for December, and a forthcoming memoir on discovering and aligning with her passionate purpose. At the age of 37, she traded in her briefcase and left the corporate world of a completely unrelated industry, to open her healing and coaching practice full time. A gig that was her secret second life for nearly a decade. She works with people in individual and group settings and is rumoured to be the calm, direct and confident voice in your life that you never knew you needed.