“Remember that if you really want to motivate yourself,
love is more powerful than fear.” ― Kristin Neff
A two-year long study found that while 77% of participants had kept their resolutions at one week, only 19% had kept them for 2 years.
“Successful resolvers reported employing significantly more stimulus control, reinforcement, and willpower than the unsuccessful over the 2 years; social support and interpersonal strategies failed to predict success before 6 months but did so thereafter”
That means that you need to surround yourself with an overabundance of positive reinforcements and a fierce freedom from old stimulus that trigger the behavior you want to change.
For example, suppose you’d made the resolution to eat less ultra-processed foods and more fruits & veggies. In that case, you need to dramatically reduce the amount of ultra-processed foods coming into your house and stock your fridge and counters with the fruits and veggies you want to eat more of. Meaning that if you don’t have OREO’s or frozen pizza at home, you’ll automatically be less likely to eat them.
In other words, you need to set your environment up for success.
Here’s another example, you’ve decided that you want to be kinder to yourself. So, for something like this, you’ll need to be conscious about when and where you are most likely to find yourself heaping blame and shame on your shoulders. One way to support a resolution like this is to do a social media edit. Go through your social media accounts and either unfollow or hide accounts that help you stay stuck on the negative self-talk, and then find ones that will support your learning how to love yourself better. Doing this sort of social media edit reduces the negative stimuli while increasing positive reinforcements.
Here are 8 New Year’s Resolutions Worth Making:
1. Practice Listening To Your Body
“Your body is your best guide. It constantly tells you, in the form of pain or sensations, what’s working for you and what’s not.”― Hina Hashmi, Your Life A Practical Guide to Happiness Peace and Fulfilment
2. Practice Listening To Your Heart
“Always listen to your HEART. The wisdom of your heart is the connection to your authentic power — the true home of your spirit”― Angie Karan
3. Cultivate Compassion
Compassion is like a muscle. And, just like your biceps or triceps, you can build up your compassion muscle as well. In the article titled This Loving-Kindness Meditation is a Radical Act of Love, Jon Kabat-Zin teaches how to practice the transformative practice of Loving-Kindness Meditation.
4. Cultivate Self-Compassion
Self-Compassion is the highest level of self-love you can reach. “Self-compassionate people are more optimistic because they know that if problems occur, they can deal with them. They have the emotional strength needed to cope with whatever arises. If you’re able to comfort yourself every time something painful happens, staying centered and not running away with reactivity, you can start to trust yourself.” ― Kristin Neff
5. Instead Of I’m Sorry, Try Gratitude
Instead of continually apologizing for your very existence, which is a form of self-harm, try swapping I’m sorry for thank you. Examples:
6. Learn How To Check Out As Needed
Sometimes life is too much, and you need to check out for a bit. Cultivate awareness of those moments so that you can consciously choose to check out as needed, instead of numbing yourself with things like doomscrolling, drinking, eating, etc..
7. Stay Present
Practice being present in the moment, even the stressful or boring ones. No one can be 100% present 100% of the time. Offer yourself encouragement and also compassion in this endeavor.
8. Make Time For Play
Play is vital. Play allows us to blow off steam, let go of stress, and stay in touch with our inner child. You do not have to earn the right to play but first checking off every single thing on your list and working yourself to the bone. “Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good” -Lucia Capocchione
Let 2022 be the year you focus on living your most magical life — not your most successful or your fittest, but your most magical life.