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3 Steps To Consciously Connecting With Your Partner


“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.”

- Audrey Hepburn



You’ve chosen to build a life together. It’s is a sacred thing: this holding another’s heart within your own.


Everyone is born with an innate need to partner with someone who loves them deeply, someone you deeply love in return. When you do this, the two of you have now become three entities: you, your Love, and the newly birthed entity called ‘Us.’


One way to deepen your relationship is through Consciously Connecting.

This practice is about bringing intentional mindfulness into your day-to-day interactions with each other.


These three steps can act as a form of sacred glue that bonds your hearts ever closer together in this journey called life.


1. Set Your Intention.

First, set your intention to bring 100% of yourself to the interaction; your attention, eye contact, and energy.


Put your phone down. Close your laptop. Turn off the TV.


You get the idea.


You can’t fully connect with your partner (or anyone) if you’re splitting your attention here and there. Sometimes, splitting your attention is ok and likely unavoidable in our modern multi-tasking world. Still, it can’t become your regular means of interacting with your partner — if you should find yourselves treating the vast majority of interactions between the two of you as just one of the things you do, of no greater importance than the others. In that case, you need to step back and examine the bigger questions involved in that level of intimacy avoidance.


Set your intention on your partner, ask of them the same.


Focus on Love.


2. Ground Yourself in Love.

Sometimes, while connecting, things come up, hurt feelings or anger can erupt. A comment is made, a misstep trips up an otherwise lovely conversation. If you haven’t grounded yourself in Love, your response can become reactionary instead of heart responsive.


Allow your energy to intentionally come from your loving heart-space from the beginning of the interaction. Then, periodically check in with yourself to ensure that you stay centered in that loving heart-space energy.



3. Let Care and Compassion Win.

You need to care for yourselves and each other first, above the clamoring of fears over not getting your way, of someone not being enough, of being wrong. Far above ego space, let care and compassion win. This means sometimes you’re silent longer than your norm so that you can find breathing space to check in with yourself.

* Remind yourself of your intention to be fully present.

* Ask yourself if you are still grounded in your loving heart-space.


* Take another breath and remember that most of the time, ‘Us’ matters more than you or your lover being ‘right’ or ‘winning.’ This creation called ‘Us’ must be treated with infinite care, as you would a baby or kitten. Hold it close to your heart and whisper words of care and compassion to it at all times.

This is how Love wins.

Integrating these 3 Steps to Consciously Connecting into your relationship toolbox will help your Love and your lover grow and blossom. Such sacred care of the heart of your partner is a blessing for both of you.